Why I’m still single —Miss K

ADVERTISEMENT

Afro/Caribbean Miss K, real names Karina Theresa Martinez, has her hands full these days. The musician and model sneaked into Nigeria several weeks ago to hold meetings with top government officials and corporate players on a project that’s dear to her. In this exclusive session, Miss K opens up to TADE MAKINDE on her fashion style, views of men, strong women and her other projects among other issues.
With so many "Yes" men around you, do you like to take more of a back seat in your personal life?
Not at all. The Dream is to have a balance where you feel like you can relinquish control from time to time and still be taken care of. What you want to do has to be respected. It's about finding a relationship that has enough good stuff to outweigh the bad because nobody is perfect. But without the spark that conflict brings, life would be so boring. I want a bit of chaos in a relationship, but I also want a bit of safety and order. And I sure want a lot of loving. I don't want to go against my own integrity in life or in a relationship. If something doesn't feel right to me, or makes me feel uncomfortable, I do not want to go along with it and sometime as women, just for the sake of love or for the sake of being loved, we do that. To the contrary, I've learnt to speak my mind and stand my ground. And trust me, I used to take a lot of stuffs

What stuffs have you gone through if I may ask?
I've learnt a lot from my past experiences which have liberated me personally and professionally. Just like a blade, pain has its two sides. You can either let it finish you or you can let it help you grow for the better. When you go through it, it hurts so bad. But when you overcome it, you come out stronger.
In your case, have you?
Believe me when I say I am stronger than ever before. I know my worth and I, for sure, have understood my value a long time ago. The love I have for myself exceeds the love I can ever give to anyone else on this planet because it is important for your well being to look after your inner soul. When you love yourself, you feel good within you and it shines through you. Way too often I come across people that have lost their focus on loving themselves and it pains me to see it. But deep down, I understand because I went through this myself a long time ago.

Your view of life
I believe life's best rewards come from the journey, not the destination. I am very determined and ambitious and won't stop till I achieve the things I have in my mind to. That is the reason I always encourage women around me or men to go after their dreams and to not let go. Become your own entrepreneur, become your own vision, become what God always intended for you to become. Become you

How easy or difficult is it for you to attract men?
Being a strong leading woman often makes it difficult to meet a man that can handle women with such character, but I strongly disagree. It takes an intelligent man to see the advantage of having a strong woman by his corner. If you don't have the courage to approach me in the first place, then I don't want to know you. Sure, everyone can have their shy moment. I do too. But when it comes to love, I can assure you that you won't want to let the opportunity pass you by. So, one will do everything he or she can to get to that target his/her eyes detect. If you walk up to me with a smile and charisma, like a gentleman, and say hello, I will respect you more than if you stare at me all night, drooling and watching me leave. I don't bite. So why scared? That's why I wrote the song entitled "Tell Me Why?", which is about trying to understand why often men would keep on staring, but are terrified to walk up to me when you know deep down you have a very keen interest. Big mystery. Story of my life. But don't get it twisted, I know when it's time to tame my woman persona and turn into a gentle baby koala or cuddly as a baby chimpanzee, tender as a cat and I surely know when to strut my ass-sets like a black panther. Grrrrrrrr....!!! Indeed, there is time for everything.

Are you single?
Yes, I am and I have been for a minute. It was only by choice, not because I can’t get a date. I am so focused on my work that I do not want any distractions. And let's be realistic, till now no one has taken my fancy but if someone did, maybe I would have looked twice or better. Maybe I should fire Cupid. (Laughs) Isn't he supposed to be the perfect matchmaker because so far, he hasn't done such a good job with me. I guess he just needed me to be willing too, but who knows, 2014 may be the year I meet my perfect Valentine.
Do you possibly see yourself marrying a Nigerian?
Well, this is not the first time people have asked me such  a question. Me dating a black brother goes without saying of course, but whether he is Nigerian, Malian, South- African or mixed raced, Afro-Caribbean, Afro-Indian, Afro American, Afro-Latino or Afro-Arabic, all that is secondary to me. I don't date a race. I date an individual because what matters is the magical chemistry between two human beings.

What is Miss-K's perfect profile in a man?  
Well, it depends. There are days I like a man to be calm and others, I like that same man to make me laugh and be playful. Someone who is whole; who is driven; who knows how to look after himself and he definitely needs to know how to enjoy the best things in life, knowing that I am one of them. He has to be hard working and powerful in his own right. Someone who understands that it's ok to be weak at times as long as he knows how to get back up. I will be his number one cheer leader. He must also be family-minded and have a big generous heart. But that very same someone will have to understand my worth and treat me like the queen that I am because I know that I definitely will treat him like the king he deserves to be treated like. I want a man that will worship the ground I stand on and then I'll look after the rest. True fairy tale.

Apart from your love tales, what have you been up to lately?
I have been working on some new music materials which I am very excited about. This is the first time I'll let people in on the most human aspects of what’s going on in my life. I've also been working to exhaustion behind the scenes on some big projects I've been keeping under wraps. Then again, my job is to put my best foot forward all the time. But when it comes to giving back, Miss-K never fails to. As a humanitarian activist, I plan to officially launch my humanitarian photo campaign this year. The campaign focuses on creating awareness on African continent standing up for a better tomorrow; helping its cohabitants gain and to achieve a better life.

Is it exhausting?
It is. And that's why this job is not for everybody. It has amazing rewards, but it also has moments when you are not feeling good and nobody wants to know about it. Then again I don't think I should let them know. My job is to show up, entertain and be creative. Everything else doesn't really matter.

How did you feel working with Vogue in UK?
Becoming the "Face of Curves" for the pop-up shop of VOGUE,UK, last year was indeed a turning point because being a Curve Ambassador is great, but that doesn't mean you should let your body get into any crazy shape or size. I work out like everyone else and it's hard when you just would rather prefer chilling on the beach chair under the sun and tan.  Since Christmas, I have been so relaxed I must admit and the funny thing is that everywhere I turned, juicy food was calling my name. So you really need to be disciplined to say no to temptations and during the festivities, I got to say yes way too often. Coming from a Latino and Afro-Caribbean family, I grew up tasting a multitude of cultural delicacies and appreciating such culinary pleasures. So, it's hard to resist, that's all I can say on that. But to the contrary, when I always go back home to Africa, I just eat fresh stuffs. Whenever I am in Nigeria, I eat a lot of grilled fish or meat and fresh fruits like pineapple, grape and mango, which indeed are my favourites.

 You don't smoke or over indulge in alcohol, so what's your vice?
I love sweets, gummy bears, gelly beans, which I know is bad for me, but which I can say is my vice. I'm such a big baby. I love to get pampered and treat myself to some good therapeutic massages. I adore fine cuisine and love to lounge under the sun when I travel to hot destinations. I love to get creative with whatever I do. I love my quietness at times and then there will be times where I would want to go hard, party like there's no tomorrow. I love a good action film once in a while and love to try new things in life. I'm very adventurous. It has been long since I have ridden a horse or gone jet-skiing. I might just make it happen soon

When it comes to musical talent, can you relate to any Nigerian female artist?
Yeah. To Omawumi and Waje. I have never met them, but I heard them sing once at a live concert and they sang from their soul. I also like Tiwa. We met once or twice. She is so nice. All the three women have one thing in common; they ain't scared to try new things. It's something essential in order to keep evolving in this industry and that's what makes it so great to keep on watching. However, as an artist, being yourself is extremely important. As important as it is for your craft and your individualism. I am a free spirit. I do me. I don't ever care what people think or say because I have learnt that you will never be able to please everyone. You'll make some happy and some others will keep on hating, no matter what.

What determines what you wear?
Both in terms of my performances and fashion choices, I refuse to be censored by others. I don't believe that size should dictate fashion. I think it totally depends on whether you can pull it off.

Will you still wear today that same dress you wore three years ago to the Future Award which a paparazzi snapped you almost naked, revealing your behind?
Absolutely. My dress had nothing to do with the fact that on that night, the wind blew my way and showed off my ass-sets. So sure I will wear it again today. I'm still dressing the way I feel and if that changes, then I'll change. For me, fashion is all about the fit. If it fits your curves perfectly, then roll with it. The number one rule is to dress for yourself, not for others. And certainly not like others because what might fit that girl might not fit you and vice-versa. Having seven years of fashion design background, I know a thing or two about fashion. I have always said it is you that wear the clothes, don't ever let the clothes wear you. You own that confidence, that aura; that walk; that smile. Learn your body and don't leave the house until it works.

Can we put a large part of your success down to your positive attitude?
Sometimes it's hard, I so wish there could be more hours in a day but whenever I feel I can't do all the things I have taken on, I tell myself ‘yes I can’. It's about doing everything great today.

Where do you see yourself in a decade?
In a decade’s time, I see myself, first and foremost, still being an artiste and I want to stay healthy and vibrant; keep growing as a leading woman, achieving even more for my empire and for my fans, but most importantly, still giving back to the society in every little way I possibly can.

Sincerely, will you ever marry?
Well, first, I need to start by finding the right Valentine, don't you think? Sure. Why not? But I am not in a rush. It's all in God's time, not mine. I would love to have someone to share my life with, but I don't have to be married to feel whole. I love, but what's more important is feeling whole on my own. You can't really have any of the other stuff without that.